Screwed Sasuke
by Mrs.Posadas
Summary: "The condom...ripped." ... "Sakura's gonna kill me." Uh-oh. Will Sakura be pregnant? Will they have little black and pink Uchiha children running around in their lives? Are you gonna read this and find out? Of course you will! Review peeps! :D chap 6 NOT AN UPDATE.
1. Screweeed!

**_Hello =)) Ameteur and crappy writing Alert! You've been warned._**

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_Sasuke pushed Sakura to a wall. Forcefully crashing his lips with his. Sakura moaned when his skillful tongue danced with hers. They parted, leaving a string of saliva behind._

"_S-Sasuke, we can't do this…" She moaned again when he went for her neck. "Uhn, Sasuke…" Sasuke pulled away for a moment, purposely ripping of her shirt. She was now in her bra and underwear._

_Sasuke looked at Sakura for a moment, asking her permission if she wants to continue. She nodded, he then proceeded to take of her bra and underwear then leading her to the bed. She laid down. Sasuke took of his pants and boxers leaving him bare. Sakura blushed for a while. No matter how many time she had seen Sasuke naked, she'll never get used to it._

_Sasuke positioned himself in front of her, before beginning, Sasuke took out a box of condoms, ripping one and putting one on his stiff member. This is what Sakura liked another thing about him. No matter how lust blinds their visions, Sasuke never forgets to use protection. Sasuke re-positioned again. _

_No need for foreplay. She is as wet as Sasuke is impatient. Sasuke thrusted hard into her. Sakura half moaned and screamed of pleasure and pain. After a while Sakura got used to it and was now moaning._

"_Ahh, Sasuke!" she screamed. "F-Faster!" no need for another saying. Sasuke greedily complied and went faster than any of their other love-making. _

_Sasuke thought he heard something ripping but paid no attention to it. After a while their climax approached. They both had the best orgasms of their lifetime. After resting beside each other, Sasuke took of his condom to throw away like he always used to, when he noticed something._

'_It's __**ripped.**__' Sasuke thought surprisingly. _

'_Sakura is going to kill me.'_

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**_Uh-oh. Should I continue? Review pls. ;) It's short, I know. _**


	2. Crazy girlfriend

**Hey guys! I would like to take this opportunity to thank my reviewers:**

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**And also those who favorited and followed. Thank you. And to all you lovely people, I hope you enjoy this chap. :))**

* * *

**~Few Days Later~**

"Bleeeh!" Sakura vomited on the toilet again while Sasuke pulled back her hair. He helped her stand up and go to the sink to wash her mouth. "Oh, Sasuke." She called weakly. "What's been happening to me? I feel so sick lately." Sasuke shook his head and shrugged.

"No idea."

*~*~*~*~*~*Next Daay!~*~*~~*~*~*

Sasuke was on his bed thinking about his lovely girlfriend and how he's going to tell her she's pregnant. He can't hide it forever. Of course he knew that. He wiped his face with his hands in frustration and went back to sleep again.

'_I'll just tell her sometime.'_ And he slept.

About an hour later, he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. Grumbling, he reached over to his side desk and took his phone.

"Hello-"

"_WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" _a voice screamed angrily so loud that he had to put the phone away from his ear.

'_Oh shit'_ he cursed.

"Listen baby, I can explain-"

"_No,no,no, Don't baby me! How do you explain this!?" _Sasuke scratched the back of his head, thinking of words to say.

"Look, Sakura. I was going to tell you sooner or later but I was afraid you'll burst."

"_Hell yeah, I'll burst!" _ He sighed.

"Look, it's not that bad being pregnant, really. Then you'll have something to brag to your friends." He was out of words to say. There was a pause on the other line.

"_Wait, what?" _

"What?"

"_What do you mean pregnant!? WHO'S PREGNANT!?" _he furrowed his brows in frustration and shock.

"What are you talking about? I mean, you didn't know?" There were either angry breathing or shocked ones heard from the other line.

"_Sasuke…" _The way she said his name was like she was ready to kill. "_I was talking about the scratch you gave my car!" _He's dead now.

'_Oh shit, Oh shit!' _

"I can explain…" It came out like a question instead.

"_Fuck yeah, you'll explain! I'M COMING OVER!" _and she hung up. Well, at least that reminded him that he had to complain to Durex.

And also these words to put on his tombstone: **Sasuke Uchiha, a son, a friend and a brave, brave man. The man who decided to keep a secret from his girlfriend.**

Cause he sure was a dead man now.

* * *

The doorbell of the Uchiha residence rang. Itachi opened the door.

"Why hello there Sakura, are you here… to see…" Itachi's voice trailed off, when he saw a monst-I mean a very angry and pale Sakura. Instead he side stepped, motioning her to come in. She angrily stomped to Sasuke's room upstairs, only to find it locked.

"SASUKE UCHIHA! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" she rattled the door knob.

"Not until you calm down." was the reply she heard from the other side. This only angered her more.

"SASUKE! STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN." She screamed so loud that it was heard in the entire Uchiha residence. Itachi, on the other hand, felt sorry for his brother.

"You need to calm down first." Sakura breathed in and out and unclenched her fists.

"Okay Sasuke, I'm calm now." She said. But judging from her voice it won't last long. Sakura heard the door unlock and open. Revealing a hot/scared/frustrated Sasuke. She came in and he locked the door behind her. Sakura spoke first.

"Were you even planning on telling me?" she asked. He nodded.

"Of course I was. I was just finding the right time to." He replied. Sakura looked at the distance Sasuke keeped between them. She raised a brow.

"C'mere" she said. It sounded more like an order to him. He did so and when he did, she kissed him lovingly. They pulled away smiling at each other.

"Don't think that I haven't forgive you yet." He smirked.

"What do we do?" she asked. Sasuke thought for a while.

"I think we really need your parent's support on this. They really are the only one who can help us." Sakura gasped.

"My parents? B-but that's suicide!" Sasuke kissed her hair.

"It doesn't matter. If they really do love you, then they'll give their support as parents." Sakura thought about what he said. And nodded.

"I understand. Tomorrow morning?" He nodded.

"Tomorrow morning."

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**I know Sasuke's OOC. I made him that way, cause the old Sasuke's boring. So, I don't mind. I have a Question for you guys though. Do you think I should make them have a family fast or should I do some SasuSaku moments? or both? Thanks guys! LOVE YALL**


	3. Girlfriends parents

**PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE END. THANK YOU! 3 **

**THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! I LOVE YOU GUYS! 20 follows, 10 favorites and 16 reviews. For you guys it may not seem much but to me, it means the world!**

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**

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**-Rosebunse**

**-anthology lover**

**-sakulover**

* * *

"So…" started, easing the awkward tension in the Haruno residence. "What is it that you want to tell us?" Sasuke gulped. He knew that he and Sakura's father didn't get on good terms. And would always get on each others' balls. _**(Shut up. It's a metaphor. xD) **_Sakura squeezed his hand signaling him that it's alright. Sasuke smiled at her and squeezed back.

'_That …didn't really work…' _he thought. He sighed.

"Um, you do know how much I love your lovely daughter right?" Mrs. Haruno smiled while Mr. Haruno raised a brow.

"Where are you going at boy?"

"I love her so much to the point where…I-uh…showed it to her?" he hesitated a bit before saying the last part, resulting it to sound like a question. Mr. Haruno stood up, clearly knowing what it means.

"_What!?_ My little baby girl is not a virgin anymore!?" he yelled. Mrs. Haruno tugged at his sleeve, motioning him to sit. Sasuke shrinked, knowing the reaction. Sakura merely sighed.

"Honey, calm down-"

"No, I will not calm down! HONEY, THE SHOTGUN!" Mrs. Haruno sighed as well. Sasuke side-glared at Sakura who was chuckling, obviously amused at the situation.

"Mr. Haruno, please!" Sasuke tried to calm the furious father down. "You're daughter is still a virgin don't worry…" Mr. Haruno calmed a bit and sat down.

"Really?" he asked. Sasuke looked the other way.

"Well…we may have done things here and there…"

stood up again.

"HONEY! THE SHOTGUN-"

"Nobody will be shooting anyone!" Mrs. Haruno's loud voice caused the father to sit down and bow his head. He muttered a small 'sorry,honey' under his breath. She nodded in satisfaction.

"Darling, why don't you let poor Sasuke talk first? I'm sure he has something important to say." She suggested kindly. He nodded in defeat.

"Good. Sasuke dear, Do forgive him. He can be so protective at times." He nodded in understanding. '_Hn, at times.' _He scoffed.

"It's alright Mrs. Haruno. What I was saying is that, I love your daughter dearly and I-uh would like to ask your daughters hand for marriage!" he declared confidently. His confidence soon faded away with his voice when Mr. Haruno glared at him.

"Marriage? Marriage, you say. Are you responsible enough to provide for my daughter? Are you prepared to start a family?" he asked, arms folded on his chest.

"Haha, about that…" Sakura spoke. Sakura looked at her mother signaling her for help. She understood right away.

"I think it's a great idea Sasuke!" Her husband looked at her in disbelief. "You have my praise."

"Honey, you can't be serious…" She glared at him.

"Of course I am. Sasuke and Sakura are both responsible and you can't treat her like a little girl anymore. She's 19, dear. _19._"

"Yeah, but she will always be my little girl…" he mumbled.

"You have our permission." Sasuke smiled gratefully. Sakura stood up and ran to her parents, hugging them.

"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" she screamed happily. Mrs. Haruno hugged her back. While her husband stood still. Sakura noticed this and pulled away from her mother to hug him in turn.

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll always be you little girl." She whispered. He smiled in defeat and hugged her back.

"Of course you will." Sasuke's face lightened as he took control of the happy situation and tell them their secret.

"Oh, uhm. Did I forget to mention that I made Sakura pregnant? Hehe…" He laughed awkwardly. Mr. Haruno released Sakura from the hug and stood up, leaving the room and everyone sharing confused stares.

Those confused stares suddenly became of fear (especially Sasuke) when he has a shotgun in hand, loaded.

"I'll give you five minutes to run boy."

Sasuke did so, getting up and went through the door leaving a Sasuke-hole with a duck-butt hair on the wall.

* * *

_**READ PLEASE!:**_** I know I did it alittle too fast! Sorry, it's because I'm excited for the upcoming chapters. Where most of you say that I should ****have SasuSaku moments first. I took the advice from one of my lovely reviewers that I should like make them shop for some baby clothes and stuff. It'll be really cute. And I won't be updating as fast as I usually will because stupid school is upcoming :(( I have to like, shop for things. :( THANK YOU AND PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. :)) REVIEW? **


	4. Stupid Little Things

**Wassup everybody? Ya doin' good? Hey guys, like everytime I want to say thank you to those who favorited and followed( I like saying thank you xD) And those who reviewed:**

**-Entei7800**

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**READ PLS: I sped up the plot a little bit and they got married already. So I could focus on the real plot and make them have children fast. (Haha)**

** I hope you enjoy this crappy piece of thing xD **

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"Sasukeee…" Sakura moaned/called for the nth time that day, "I'm hungry!" Sasuke sighed.

"Even though you just ate?"Sakura pouted.

"I'm pregnant Sasuke, deal with it." Sasuke nodded. It's useless to argue further. Sasuke went to _their _kitchen to prepare a little something for his lovely wife. Yup, they just got married and moved to a new apartment. Sasuke got back holding a mushroom soup in his hand and delicately put it on the table. Which Sakura gobbled up in seconds.

'_This is going to be a long day.'_ Sasuke thought as he sat on the couch beside her watching…_Soap operas? _Since when does Sakura watch soap operas? He withdrew his question when he looked at her, crying like a baby.

*Sniff* "It's so touching! I can't stop crying!" she wailed. Sasuke just stared. _Stared. _And finally sweat dropped.

"Sakura…" Sakura stopped her wailing to look at Sasuke.

*Sniff* "Hmm?"

"…It's a shampoo commercial."

…

"I _know!_ That's why it's so touching! I wanted hair like that! Sasuke-kun, Why can't I have hair like that?" she started ranting, which Sasuke ignored of course and played Fruit Ninja on his phone.

"—Like, I mean what if our kids have pink hair? And their _boys!? _And-And they'll be all depressed and die! And they're ghosts will haunt me for_evah!_ And Sasuke-kun what if-?" Sasuke effectively cut her off by kissing her on the lips. Sakura blushed when they pulled away.

"Sasuke-kun that was—_OHEMGEE _TEH SHOW IS ONN!"she screamed while putting her fist up in the air, which hit Sasuke, and blacked out.

"Eh? Sasuke-kun?"

…

'_Stupid soap operas. Stupid inhuman strength. Stupid mood-swings. Stupid bombs. Stupid Mr. Haruno for kicking me in the balls in our wedding._ _Wait, what am I getting at?' _Sasuke rose up from the couch feeling his sore chin. He felt a blanket covering him. He saw Sakura lying down on the couch next to his. He gave her the blanket instead and stood up.

'_6:10 am? I blacked out for a whole day? Dayuum, that was something. Might as well get some fresh air.'_

After doing some stretches like an old man, he went to door to get some air, when he did he felt someone put something on his head. He felt sleepy and all he saw after that was black.

Uchiha Sasuke has just been kidnapped.

* * *

**Uh-oh xD What happens next? Dunno. And hey guys, I dontknow anything and I mean ANYTHING about pregnancy. Can any of you kind readers tell me about it? Kinda feel embarassed asking you guys' for help. Wait. Me? Embarrased? Silly me. Thanks for reading guys! Love yah.**


	5. Tomatos and Fake Barbies

**WHAT'S UP YO? Yup, I'm still alive :) I'm sorry cause I have school and all and it's really hard. And a bad case of writers block xD** **_Favoriters and followers tenkyuberrymats xD_**

**_Reviewers! Thank you:_**

**_-sasukesoneandonly(Sorry for the delay)_**

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**_-anthologylover(Thank you for finding it funny :D )_**

**_-aly (THANK YOU! THAT IS REALLY HELPFUL) _**

**_Now onto the story..._**

**_WARNING:  Cursing and bad name-calling and Karin-bashing! Anyways enjoy, you lovely people.  
_**

* * *

**'**_Ugh, my head hurts.' _I opened my eyes to see nothing but darkness. My hands seemed to be securely tied behind the chair I was sitting on. '_Oh yeah, I was kidnapped. Well no shit, Sherlock.' _Instead of freaking out, I stayed calm. Whoever this is I'm gonna beat their asses off. I hear footsteps approaching me.

"I see you're awake, _Sasuke-kun"_ the way my name was mentioned made me shiver. That voice…

"Karin?" I asked dumbly. I hear that pathetic woman laugh. I hear her come closer as she literally rips off the blindfold from my eyes. I blinked, trying to get used to the brightness…which I soon regret. Why?

"Karin…what the actual fuck, are you wearing?" _It _stands in front of me with a…whip? In a very revealing outfit. I mean, that doesn't even count as a bra anymore. Little mermaid's seashell bra are much more bigger than hers. And a short-short shorts. I looked away, only to be faced back using the handle of the whip.

"Why _Sasuke-baby…_" *shudders* "Do you like it?" I sighed.

"Karin, what do you want?" I asked sternly, Sharingan activated. It didn't seem to affect her but she did back away.

"Isn't it obvious? I want you! I'm the one who's supposed to be pregnant, not that slut!" Anger boiled up inside me but I remained calm.

"_Karin._ Don't call my wife a slut, when clearly it takes one to know one."I retorted as she released an angered growl and whipped me at the side of my face. Blood trickled down my cheek.

"FUCK YOU SASUKE! I LOVED YOU ALL MY LIFE, BUT YOU SHOOK ME AWAY LIKE SOME FLY!" she screamed, approaching me again, only this time faster and crashed my lips with hers. I was caught off guard. If it wasn't for these ropes, I would've made her into _tomato-slut soup _already. She tried separating my teeth which was blocking the entrance to my mouth but failed. She glared at me before punching my gut. I gasped in pain by her strength and claimed my mouth again. I grimaced, wanting to puke. Before I knew it, my zipper was down, she pulled away.

"Ah, that was so good Sasuke-_kun." _She said, oblivious to my disgusted face. "How about we take it to the _extreme? _I'll make sure to bear you lots and lots of my babies." She tore off my shirt, and before she could take off hers, an angelic voice was heard.

"FUCKING TOMATO-BITCH!" _yup, real angelic. _"GET THE FUCK OFF MY HUSBAND RIGHT. NOW!" Sakura screamed, standing on a fallen door, face red and pissed. Karin had the same face as her as they glared on each other.

"Or what, you fat Barbie-bitch?" she retorted. I smirked knowing Sakura's trigger. No one, I mean, no one, calls her fat. Sakura was redder with anger and without another name-calling, she took the fallen metal door in both of her hands and tossed it at Karin who just screamed in terror rather than dodging. Sakura marched, or rather, _angrily waddled _toward Karin who was under the door and stepped on it, adding pressure.

"No one, I mean never ever or anyone calls me fat. Got it, you dick-hungry bitch?" Karin just nodded. Sakura huffed and went towards her beloved husband. _That's my girl_.

"Sakura! Sakura-baby, Thank God." Sasuke said in relief. "Come-on hun, help me out of this stupid ropes!" Sakura stopped in front of Sasuke, thinking for a while. Until she got a brilliant idea.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, I don't think Ms. Tomato-slut learned her lesson yet. Why don't we give her a _proper punishment?_" Sakura suggested slyly. Sasuke, who caught on immediately smirked and agreed. She bent down to Sasuke's level and kissed him lovingly on the lips in which he gladly returned, she took of the rest of his clothes, ignoring Karin's protests.

"NO! SASUKE-KUN! HAVE MY BABIES, NO!" Poor Karin, witnessing till the end of their love-session.

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**That...was...weird. Don't flame me ok? I gave you a warning. Thanks for reading and the shortness :( I hope I get reviews on this one. Love you guys! BYE =))**


	6. NOT AN UPDATE!

**TAKE TIME TO READ EVEN THOUGH IT'S LOONG!NOT AN UPDATE!** Yes, I know I'm sorry. I'm such an ass! But that wasn't the reason I wrote this, I just wanted to let you guys know that there is a **poll in my profile about Sasuke and Sakura's son/daughter**. With that said I can progress with this story much more easier and faster. The update's gonna be late cause there's school and stuff but I doubt you guys wanted to know that xD I would like to take this opportunity in advance to thank my favoriters and followers even though my story is so crappy and amateuristic (Is that a word?)

And of course my LOVELY REVIEWERS!:

-Kari (Thank you! I'm so glad!)

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DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! LOVE YOU GUUYYS, BYEE~


	7. SUPER ABSORBENT

**_Sorry, For the lateness. And the crappiness. And don't forget the hurriedness. :P _**

**_Thanks for those who were patient, and favorited and followed._**

**_And my Reviewers:_**

**_-UrmyCherryLove42 (Thankyou.)_**

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* * *

_Slurp._

"Ugh. Naruto, you don't know how it feels."

_Slurp._

"Too have a moody, bitchy, peeing, gassy, craving wife you have in your hands.(1)"

_Slurp._

"God. I just wish the baby would pop out of her vajay-jay already. I think I'm going nuts!"

_Slurp._

"What do you think Naruto?"

_Slurp._

_Sluuuuuuuuuurp._

*BASH*

Sasuke just literally face-bowled Naruto. Which in fact, he didn't mind cause it was finished already.

"What the hell is your problem,man? Are you on your period again!?" Naruto snapped. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Yes. I am dobe. Happy?"He suddenly cursed himself for saying without thinking again. Then suddenly, Naruto sat down again, with a sympathetic look on his face.

He sighed. "I understand bro, here, it's extra-absorbent."(2) He reached out for his wallet and took out…_a tampon?_

Sasuke stared at him for a while. He saw that he was serious and _very _awkwardly took the handed object from his hands. Naruto nodded and patting him on the shoulder before paying and went out. Leaving a very confused Sasuke with a tampon in his hand.

Sasuke was now strolling outside, taking the long-way to the Uchiha Manor, enjoying the fresh and cool breeze.

'_If only I could understand women better…' _He sighed. Every man's wish. His thoughts were interrupted when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

'_SASUKE! WHERE DAFUQ ARE YOU!?' _Sakura. Of courseee. Sasuke had to inch his phone away from his ear.

"I'm coming home, babe. I'll be there at maybe 5 minutes top—"

'_NO! YOU HAVE TO BE HERE NOW! MY—ugh. MY—HURRY!'_

Sasuke furrowed his brow in frustration.

"Sorry hun, can you say that aga—"

'_YOU LITTLE SHIT! MY WATER! MY WATER'S BROKEN! I NEED YOU HERE, __**NOW!**__' _She screamed.

Sasuke chuckled nervously. "Don't be silly Saku. It can't be broken yet."

'_UGH. HURRY! I-I'M GIVING BIRTH!'_

And she hung up. He panicked and almost dropped his phone.

He hoped that it really was super-absorbent. Cause, he just pissed himself.

* * *

Short. I know. I'm sorry. follow me on Twitter. nvillasadas. I'll answer every question you have and I'll even follow you back. Just tweet me that you're from Fanfiction. :) Thanks.

(1)-Thank you to guest reviewer.

(2)- **THIS PART IS FROM SASUSAKU FOREVER AND EVER'S STORY-anthology. I APOLOGIZE A BILLION TIME WITH HEARTS AND COOKIS WITH MINI SASUSAKU CHOCOLATE CHIPS WITH HEARTS AND THEY'RE NAKED! xD**

**FAQ( Frequently Asked Questions.) On Twitter.**

**-IS SAKURA GONNA GIVE BIRTH YET!?**

Well...she is now.

-**Can it be a boy!? Pretty pleaaaase?**

Haha. Depends. Are you gonna feed me cookies?

-**Are you a Filipino?**

Uhm. Yes! HAHA. SALAMAT SA MGA NAGBABASANG MGA PINOY! Haha.

I lurve you all. Donz forget to review.


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